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By Christopher Stone
| We work way too hard perfecting our
bodies to participate in the Great Winter Cover-up ritual.
So what if your nut-brown tan has faded to beige, or
even Navajo White? Who cares if the holidays have taken
a toll on your waistline, as well as your wallet? It's
January. Guess what, guy? You're still fabulous.
Direct order: Flaunt your winter Flesh. Do it in ways
creative and new: at home, at play, with your friends.
Show your stuff: often, proudly. When UPS rings the
doorbell, answer wearing a towel and a smile. Keep the
smile, but lose the towel so that the driver can admire
your “package” as you sign for the one that
he's delivering. At the gym, wear your shorts extra
low. Forget boxers, briefs, and jock strap. When you
bend over to pick up weights, give the boys a load of
your butt cleavage. Remember that you're the guy with
the smooth, hard ass, not the unkempt plumber with the
hairy, pimpled butt. Guys want to see your ass crack.
Invite your most attractive and uninhibited buds to
a nude dinner party at your place. As they arrive, give
each a bag into which he can place his clothes. If an
adventurous neighbor is among your guests, he may arrive
in the nude, in which case, he won't need a bag. Flaunting
your Flesh in front of friends is sexy, exhibitionistic
fun that can lead to hot sex. Let everyone know that
they're welcome to touch, as well as look. In most cases,
your guests will agree that a “hands on”
approach to the nude dinner party is delicious fun.
Serve up your favorite soup, salad, and entrée,
and then suggest yourself as the dessert course. This
is practical, as well as sexy. Unlike the coconut sorbet
that you could have served, offering up yourself as
dessert won't give your friends love handles, nor will
it cause pesky brain freeze. In fact, you're sizzling
hot.
An even sexier spin on the nude dinner party is an intimate
nude dinner for you and that sexy guy you've cruised
repeatedly. Believe me, if he doesn't succumb to your
charms during a nude dinner date, you'd better check
his pulse. He may be dead.
Another great winter flesh-flaunting opportunity happens
when you finally connect the web-cam that Aunt Cindy
gave you for Christmas. Get naked in front of it for
the puerile pleasure of your Internet buddies. |
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How far you go is your call.
You may be content just showing off your nude self, or,
be more daring.
Jerk off for your web-cam audience. Better yet, steam
up their contact lenses. Invite a boyfriend or fuck buddy
over for sex while countless, unknown others watch.
There's virtually no limit to how far you can take sexy
web-cam flaunting. This technological marvel makes it
possible for everyone to be a porn star.
Sure, winter frost fills the air. You won't feel it on
the dance floor. Wear your shortest cutoffs to your favorite
dance clubs. You know the pair, the ones with the two-inch
inseam that lets your dick and nuts peek out from under
the denim. Once inside the club, strip off your shirt.
The calendar may say it's almost Valentine's Day, but,
during a hot, sweaty dance, flaunt yourself as if it were
August in P-town.
Another flesh-flaunting idea that can outlast the winter
months is to immortalize yourself in a nude painting,
or in photographs. Because it's so easy and commonplace
to take your good looks for granted, you'll be glad you
have proof of your former beauty.
Take my word for it: At 38, you'll look at the photos
of yourself taken 10 years earlier, and think, “Hey,
I wasn't so ordinary, after all. I was pretty hot.”
Chances are, at 48, you'll covet the physique you took
for granted at 35.
For your flesh memento you needn't look further than your
local college or university's art or photography departments
to find young talent willing to paint or photograph you
in the altogether. Probably at a reasonable price, too.
I recommend the nude photo session over the nude painting.
For one thing, during a photo shoot, you needn't maintain
the same position the whole time. For another, there's
an endless supply of bad boy shutterbugs eager to flaunt
their own naked flesh while photographing yours.
Whatever you do, remember, spring always follows winter
and then in roars summer for serious flesh flaunting.
But, please don't wait until then. No, get out there and
flaunt that flesh today.
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