Your next orgasm could be as close as your fridge
BY DAVID LAURENTS
They say that variety is the spice of life. But sometimes, instead of simply looking for new guys to have sex with to give you that sense of thrill, you might find that some spices themselves -- or other foods -- will give your sex life a bit of zest, whether with a long-term lover or someone you’ve just met.
The most important thing is to keep an open mind as you raid the larder or the fridge for sex-play foods. Now that you’re an adult, you can do what your parents never let you do when you were growing up: play with your food, and oh how good it feels.
APHRODISIACS
Every culture believes that certain foods will increase sexual desire. The problem is that there is no agreement from country to country as to which foods, precisely, will have this Viagra-like effect on the libido.
Often, foods that represent seed or semen, such as caviar, are thought to convey potency and sexual desire to those who consume them. Also, foods that bear a physical resemblance to genitalia are considered to have aphrodisiac qualities.
Likewise, stimulants like cinnamon or coffee are thought to augment sexual drive, although, keep in mind that too much caffeine becomes a depressant. But a cappuccino after dinner can help make sure he’s raring to go by the time you get home (or to the bedroom) instead of sleepily digesting his meal. And if the caffeine is keeping him awake, another orgasm is the best antidote to help him finally fall asleep.
Chocolate supposedly satisfies the same part of the brain as sex. So it might not be the best thing to serve to a trick (or your lover) you’re hoping to seduce. It may leave him feeling post-coital instead of in the mood. Of course, men tend to have fairly insatiable appetites (sexually if not always for food) so you can probably risk it. And licking liquid chocolate off your lover’s body can be the perfect dessert to follow any meal.
HANDS-ON FOODS
While there is doubt about the true effectiveness of aphrodisiacs, many foods can be quite practical when it comes to sex, whether you’re on your own or with a partner.
In fact, they can even be useful in picking someone up. I’ve often wandered the streets of the gay neighborhood, idly munching on a fat, juicy carrot. It is so easy to be innocent or provocative, depending on who is watching and what your interest in him might be.
The banana is the classic phallic-shaped food for this type of provocation. But aside from just showing-off your prowess at fellatio, you can use this yellow fruit to masturbate with. Not the fruit itself, but the peel. Just slip it over the penis, and squeeze your fist to keep the strands together, using the banana slime for lubricant while you’re thrusting. You can briefly microwave the peel, too, for even more sensation.
Plenty of vegetables also have a phallic shape that can be used to fuck yourself (or a partner). You can work your way through a cornucopia of sizes: carrots, cucumbers, zucchinis, etc. You might want to slip a condom on some veggies before sticking them up your butt. Zucchinis, for instance, tend to have a rough, spiky surface that may be unpleasant (as opposed to the smoother bumps of a cucumber). A friend in San Francisco used a condom to fuck himself with a peeled hard-boiled egg, making it easier to remove more than anything else
For those of you who are more active, there are plenty of foods to fuck. Wrapping a slab of raw meat (á la Portnoy’s Complaint) around your cock can simulate other orifices. But the most popular (for sensation) are melons: cut a hole in the rind and plunge away.
And then, of course, there are plenty of foods that can simply be enjoyed as part of foreplay: for instance, dribble honey on his body and lick it off. Or, if you prefer, whipped cream, peanut butter or strawberry jam. Just keep in mind that such play usually gets pretty messy, so if you’re playing someplace like the bathroom, you can just wash off after you’re done, as opposed to dealing with the stained sheets afterwards.
FOODS TO AVOID
Both raw onions and garlic are reputed to be aphrodisiacs (the “heat” in these foods are supposed to correspond to sexual heat), but make sure your lover is also consuming them or one whiff of your breath might kill any desire that was sparking between the two of you.
Unfortunately, some foods can aggravate or even provoke hemorrhoids, which can be a literal pain in the ass during sex. Nuts, chocolate, alcohol, and strong spices should be avoided if you’re having an attack.
Bon appétit.
Photos by JF Studio
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