Renovating the fleshy way
BY JOEL PERRY
Why is it we’re never satisfied with the body we have? Sure, I’d like a bigger dick and a smaller waist. But since the dick works just fine, I ain’t messing with it. And there are too many creamy pastas in this world to ignore, so I’ll just have to make sure my love handles get used for that purpose.
And still we want to change stuff. Porn makes us look in the mirror and wish we had that blond guy’s nips and that beefy guy’s hooded snake. Well, some of this stuff actually can be had -- more or less. And I’m going to tell you how.
THICK DICK DOES THE TRICK
It is generally known that the main way to surgically gain girth is for fat taken from your body to be injected into your penis (Yowch!) between the skin and the corpus collosum.
To avoid the fat getting lumpy and your dick unsightly, some surgeons use a lovely product called Alloderm. They slice your dick skin open and layer Alloderm around your penis shaft. Like the dermal graft, it avoids the lumpiness of fat injections. But Alloderm is different from a skin graft because Alloderm comes from -- ready for this? -- cadavers. Did anybody just lose his hardon?
MORE COCK AN EASIER WAY: It is possible to achieve modest goals without all the injections and slice-and-dice procedures requiring recovery time, risk, pain medications, and mountains o’ money. The quickest and least invasive way to make your dick look bigger is a two-step process that actually works:
1. Manscape. Trim your pubes so we can see more of your lovely cock. Porn stars do it all the time.
2. Diet. That area around your dick, called the mons, is fatty tissue. You lose weight, that area shrinks, and -- ta-dah! -- more of your perky penis is exposed.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY FORESKIN?
You gotta know that it’s impossible to re-create the actual skin that was lost when you got cut. I mean, it’s gone. But! -- we can expand and develop the remaining shaft skin, tugging it forward over time, so as to restore a retractable hood of new skin over the glans (head). It will resemble a natural foreskin in that it’ll cover and protect the glans, plus provide the gliding action of a foreskin over the shaft. But it does take time. How long? That depends on three things:
1. How much skin you have to begin with.
2. How much skin you want to end up with.
3. How regularly you work at stretching it.
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